A girl’s girl

Jana
Definitely not dumb.

Chemotherapy starts this Thursday and I am nervous as all hell. All these questions, like what will it feel like? Will I be wiped out from all the drugs and not be able to enjoy my life? What if I lose my hair, will I look cute bald? I know, isn’t that awful that I ask that question? But then it’s worrying about the little details, like dinner and who will give Ayla her bath if I’m too weak. Or worst, who will comfort her because lately she is all about her mama. Although I am happy that she needs me so much, the thought of not being able to tend to her makes me so sad. I do not know what I would do without my mother’s help or my husband. Either way, I won’t know until I know. And stressing out over these things does not help matter.

SIDENOTE: Have you heard of Gabriele Grunewald? She is a badass babe! She participates in races while on Chemo. Like if I ever feel weak or I am feeling sorry for myself, remind me that us women are warriors!

So, last Saturday my lovely friend Liz threw me a surprise brunch at Sugarcane. She invited some friends Giselle, Maria, Monica, Jana, Otilia and Haydee. She is so sweet and supportive. We over ordered and had bottomless sangria pitchers. We had a great time and everyone was so sweet. We forgot to take pictures, could you believe it?  I did manage to take one. That is my friend Jana up there holding up the book that Liz got me to pass time during chemo. I love it. It was really touching to see all my friends together in one spot.

At the end when all is said and done, I must declare that I have a solid group of people cheering for me. And no matter what happens that is a nice feeling to have. Knowing that you are loved and needed.

I will be posting a Father’s Day post as well. Yes a little late, but excuse me, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately.

Done Deal

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All the anxiety that was building up for the lumpectomy was causing me major stress. As much as I tried to take it easy and trust that everything was going to be okay, I could not help but feel the what if’s of my daughter growing up without a mother. I know, tons of people have endured way more than any of this and still have made it. But I couldn’t help think about death, I just couldn’t. I joked with Alexis that I would haunt him if he picked the wrong second wife. (I would!)

Friday, April 21st came and I hyped myself up for the event. My team of doctor’s and nurses were seriously the best. I went to the University of Miami Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center. There was not one person that I encountered that was not accommodating and just very caring and supportive. I got there and Ana the nurse that attended me through the entire process made me feel very comfortable and at ease almost immediately. She gave me a hard time about drinking water prior to the surgery but I was so thirsty and thinking about not drinking water for 12+ hours made me even thirstier.

My mom stayed with Ayla then Alexis and I made our way to the hospital to be there by 10 a.m. We got there, registered and then it was just a continuous loop of registering at different locations, giving my name and date of birth about a hundred times and getting procedures done. The first procedure was getting two long needles inserted in the area that they were going to remove, to protect the needles from snagging on things or hurting me they literally covered them with a styrofoam cup that got taped to my chest. Totally normal and comfortable. Then they take you to a pre-surgery room where other patients are also waiting and you kinda get all your vitals taken, meet the rest of the team that will be in the surgery room and that’s where your family comes and says their goodbyes.

A little snag happened that I did not realize until it was a bit too late. After the plastic surgeon came to speak with me, mark the area up and take pictures of the before area. My main doctor realized that they forgot to schedule the Sentinel lymph node biopsy which they were supposed to do prior to the surgery. He gave me a choice to cancel the surgery and come back the following day. (HELL NO!) I had a styrofoam cup taped to my boob, no way was that happening again unless some serious drinking is involved. We decided that he would test the lymph nodes during the surgery with the ink that is not as accurate as the one they were planning on using but still a common way to test them. The final step was anesthesia, I swear the doctor looked like Cuba Gooding Jr., he kept calling me young lady. SMOOOOOTH! Prior to me drifting off he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, “I am a decade older than you.”

LIGHTS OUT!

I don’t remember anything after that, not one thing. Those drugs were good. The surgery lasted about 4-5 hours and everything went well. They removed 3 lymph nodes and the doctors did a great job removing and reconstructing the area. I did have a reduction and a lift on my right side to match the lumpectomy side. And I have a drain hanging out of my body which is no fun but not as annoying as I thought. My dad, Alexis and my friend Giselle were all there after the surgery but truth be told, I don’t remember them visiting. I was pretty out of it after the surgery and by the time I fully woke up visiting time was over and I was left alone in the recovery room with the nurses. Ana, Vladimir, Jaime and Alain helped me pee, drink water, open saltine packages and brought me warm blankets.

Overall the experience was far less traumatic than I imagined and I am sure the reason for it is the staff that attended me. I could not say enough good things about the hospital and it’s staff. The nurses were heaven sent and I would recommend this facility to anyone undergoing this diagnosis. As for me, now I wait and see what my treatment will be. Probably radiation and hormone therapy but I won’t know any of this until next week. And for once I am fully relaxed regarding this subject.