A girl’s girl

Jana
Definitely not dumb.

Chemotherapy starts this Thursday and I am nervous as all hell. All these questions, like what will it feel like? Will I be wiped out from all the drugs and not be able to enjoy my life? What if I lose my hair, will I look cute bald? I know, isn’t that awful that I ask that question? But then it’s worrying about the little details, like dinner and who will give Ayla her bath if I’m too weak. Or worst, who will comfort her because lately she is all about her mama. Although I am happy that she needs me so much, the thought of not being able to tend to her makes me so sad. I do not know what I would do without my mother’s help or my husband. Either way, I won’t know until I know. And stressing out over these things does not help matter.

SIDENOTE: Have you heard of Gabriele Grunewald? She is a badass babe! She participates in races while on Chemo. Like if I ever feel weak or I am feeling sorry for myself, remind me that us women are warriors!

So, last Saturday my lovely friend Liz threw me a surprise brunch at Sugarcane. She invited some friends Giselle, Maria, Monica, Jana, Otilia and Haydee. She is so sweet and supportive. We over ordered and had bottomless sangria pitchers. We had a great time and everyone was so sweet. We forgot to take pictures, could you believe it?  I did manage to take one. That is my friend Jana up there holding up the book that Liz got me to pass time during chemo. I love it. It was really touching to see all my friends together in one spot.

At the end when all is said and done, I must declare that I have a solid group of people cheering for me. And no matter what happens that is a nice feeling to have. Knowing that you are loved and needed.

I will be posting a Father’s Day post as well. Yes a little late, but excuse me, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately.

After the storm

6

It has been about a month since the surgery and the recovery has been pretty smooth. Of course it’s such a pain in the butt to feel tender and sore and limited on the things that you can do but overall, I feel great. A couple of weeks ago I saw my surgical oncologist and he was a bit confused about treatment options for me. At the time of the lumpectomy they bumped me up from Stage 0 to Stage 1, ER+/PR+/HER2+. That basically changed the treatment that they had in mind prior to the surgery. My cancer was a bit more aggressive than what the biopsy had shown but still I fell short of the recommended chemo treatment. My doctor recommend that I see another oncologist.

The new oncologist was very confident that I need chemo as a preventative measure. He answered all my questions but was a little too dismissive of my concerns with the treatment. Although he was very nice and obviously an expert he really did make chemo seem as if it were a massage at the spa. Since then I have spoken to my own general doctor and Dan’s dad who is a oncologist and they both reassured me that the reason that he suggested chemo is because I am young and I will recover from it and that I will have great results from the treatment. And so it starts. I will have a port placed next month and shortly after start chemo. I am still so nervous and scared but I am trying not to over think the whole thing and just get on with it. The sooner it happens the sooner it ends.

I will keep you posted.